Start Here, Dumbass

Hi. You clicked a website called DICK STACHE. Let's get into what that means.

There is no account. We do not need your email. We do not know what a conversion funnel is, and at this point we're afraid to ask.

Nothing here is following you around the internet. There's no feed, nothing is trending, and there is no algorithm quietly deciding what kind of person you are. We didn't build any of that, and we're not going to.

Where this came from

A few of us worked on a movie in 2023. We started as strangers and came out the other side actual friends, which is not the normal outcome and we're aware of it. There's a group chat. Somebody said the words "dick stash" in it, and because we are middle-aged men with the brains of eleven-year-olds, it destroyed us.

One of us bought the domain immediately. Then two of us were on the phone talking about our futures — real conversation, kids and money and what we're doing with our lives — and it turned into why can't we just make a stupid website? and we both said "eBaum's World" at exactly the same time.

So here it is. That's the entire origin story. There isn't a better one.

What we're actually going for

The internet used to feel like a place people made. You'd click around, find someone's page about haunted dolls or bad taxidermy, and it was obviously built by a person who cared way too much about it. It was messy and ugly and free.

Now every surface wants something from you. Your email, your attention, your outrage, your money. Even the free stuff is selling you something — a product, or a fear, or a false promise of hope.

We're not going to fix that. We're one dumb website. But we can run one small place that doesn't do it.

The rules we're holding ourselves to

• No accounts, ever. You can come here a hundred times and stay a stranger.
• No ads. Not a banner, not a sponsor, not a "presented by."
• No tracking. We are not building a profile of you, because we don't want one.
• No feed. Everything ends. You can finish this website.
• No likes, no counts, no streaks, nothing to keep up with.
• Mischief, yes. Cruelty, no — nothing here runs on humiliating somebody who didn't sign up for it.

We'll be filthy and stupid and occasionally in poor taste. That's different, and we know the difference.

Mostly we just hope you're having an okay day. And if you're not — if today has been genuinely rough — we hope you clicked a hot dog and laughed for a second and it helped a little.

That's the whole thing. That's what this is for.

You don't owe us anything. Take what you need and go.

Enjoy weird.